we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
