Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
