Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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