I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't deserve a penis
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
