I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
