Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
