Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
