I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
