This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
