I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
