Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
