I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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