in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
