i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
