I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
