Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
