Your mouth is God's brothel.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
