Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
