i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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