I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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