why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
