Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
