Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
