Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
