Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
