pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
