Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
