I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
