I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
