He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
