matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
