I'm going to jail i love you
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
