I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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