You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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