Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
