Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
