The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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