Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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