guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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