Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
