end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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