A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
