similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
