I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You took a bar mat shot.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
