my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
