i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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