Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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