I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
