one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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