the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
